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Happy July 4, 2022! I say this with some sarcasm since Roe vs. Wade was overturned on Friday, June 24, 2022, and the USA has to control the bodies of every minority person somehow in the United States of Amerikkka including women.
However, this is not the point of this blog today on Independence Day.
Today, I have declared my Independence. I have come to realize even though I’m dating a nice Nigerian man that I will not get married.
I have come to realize that God had other plans for me despite my concerns. That my independence will help myself and my immediate family.
No, I am not LGBTQ+. I never was and never will be. I appreciate a penis.
My conclusion today comes at 51 years old that never had children but wanted them. I just wanted to wait until I was married. When I didn’t get married, I didn’t have children.
I wanted a husband and kids but this didn’t happen for me. I will not adopt a child. My parents experienced a very harsh adoption. My brother is mentally ill. I pray for him constantly. I also have a mentally disabled brother and a deceased elder sibling. I pray for my living siblings daily.
Now that I’m past child bearing age (or my gynecologist doesn’t recommend pregnancy at my age) and I’m still not married, I have let go and let God. The government would say that I would need to carry a pregnancy to term in my 50s even though it would be my first pregnancy and it could kill me at this point. It’s a complete lack privacy for women. I am pro-life but vote pro choice. It’s a woman’s choice and should remain as such with their doctor. I wanted a baby but it’s now a hole in the dark for me at this age.
In the meantime, I desired a family. Men came and went. Nothing came into existence for me in the form of marriage. I was asked once but the man was such a jerk (asked me over the phone), that I immediately turned him down. He was a complete asshole.
Love never found me so I have to love myself.
I will dedicate my life in helping myself and my family. Maybe God will bless me in these endeavors. I hope so. I pray continuously for health, strength, and Christ’s love.
So, I have made a decision today. The US government doesn’t own my body, nor a man. I am a spiritual person so Christ owns me. That is it. I will continue to make my own choices and pray for God’s protection for me.
Meanwhile, the Nigerian man that I’m dating seems not to want marriage neither. After discussing what his purpose and desires were for the next three years, he and I don’t seem to include each other. I know that I retire in 2025. He doesn’t have the capability to do so financially. I don’t see a future for us.
Knowing this now is helpful. I can prepare my life for retirement and thank God for what I was capable of doing. I am also asking God for a clearer picture of my purpose in life.
I know that women make so many choices starting in their teen years. I made choices to wait for marriage but it never came. However, women still have choices.
Choose love for oneself every single day.
I choose me.
Well, it’s Wednesday, December 22, 2021, and yippee-ki-yay, I will be debt-free (for a second time) in three months.
This was the hardest of my goals. My troubles started with giving a monetary loan to my dad so long ago who couldn’t repay it, almost losing my house, getting a terrible roommate, doing odd jobs like becoming a bartender, server, pet-sitter, and ESL tutor including voice over gigs as side hustle jobs to learning about finance, passive income, stocks, business grants from the SBA (Small Business Administration) and learning from the most ill credit card companies in the business.
American Express kicked my ass every single month by dinging my credit delinquent until the pandemic hit which was when three quarters of the world couldn’t pay their bills. That’s when they ultimately stopped. I guess they didn’t have enough employees for that.
American Express, the most hated of credit card companies, tops the list. Even my father, who always paid on time until his mental state declined, stated that he would never get a card from them again. Mom and I review the incoming household bills. I have to check with him frequently about them.
I also tried doing summer work with the board of education in my field and was financially discriminated against while my colleague got “his full pay” as colleagues during a music summer workshop let me know that I was learning the hard knocks that would last a lifetime.
Through it all, I paid my debts. I was sued twice (Chevron and American Express) until I paid them in full. Finally received by 15K from the EIDL grant and $2500 from the Facebook Minority Grant which I never dreamed that I would receive.
The board of education paid us our $1k vaccination bonus and educators got our checks from the GoldShaye Class Action settlement twice. Checks paid to educators for another three years (until I retire) for a total of five years. The school district finally decided that we should receive a bonus of 6% of our income since we were “risking our lives” by returning back to the classroom to teach while our peers were dying of COVID-19. I almost quit when I heard the superintendent spoke that if we were afraid of returning to work, we should get therapy. A patron paid for my initial therapy for six months for which I’m extremely grateful. Afterwards, I took over the payments at $150 per session.
My goals have changed. This is the second time that I eliminated my debt. I have new goals that involve passive income, savings, and choosing my work projects.
Yes, I’m thankful. My new goal is to never return to debt. My lifestyle and mental choices have changed.
However, I was angry of my treatment by so-called friends, family, individuals, real estate companies, credit card companies, the BOE, and myself for my lack of financial knowledge that almost killed me. I had to fight to stay in the middle class. I helped my family financially when I didn’t have the funds to lend for them and it almost killed me. Am I still angry? No, I’m not. Naivety can kill you. Now, I love my family, friends, and loved ones (even those that I no longer associate with). I love God. However, my therapist taught me to put myself first. Put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. This specific tip was the best. There are many stories that I could add to this post in relationship to my debt free status. I’ll share them eventually.
Life is the ultimate education, not educational institutions themselves. IMO (in my opinion), people pay for a college education just to remain in the middle class. It’s the individual who educates themselves for a more lucrative life beyond it.
If you’ve read this far, then maybe, you’re intrigued or a fan. Thanks.
Happy New Year!
Without giving away all of my bad habits, I can really make things harder than they are and I wonder why? Also, I am ditching all the bad advice from previous voice-over coaches while I work with the best coach who gets all of my idiosyncrasies and mishaps. I can be thankful for that. My brain, mind, and voice really works in sync with my core connection to script, copy, song, and life. A person can’t relate everything together; some things are separate from each other. However, I rediscovered the lesson that I had learned previously and applied it to new copy today. When I feel like an idiot, I can admit it most days which is good. I can say….okay. Chill the “f@kc out” and “connect the dots fool.”
I’m a riot … for many reasons.
Note to Self: I can take classes more frequently now which is great.
They were shut down for a year. Yesterday, March 9, 2021, students were able to return back to the building. There are two cohorts. The first cohort came and the next cohort will arrive on Monday, March 15, 2021.
It seems unreal that I’ve taught music via Zoom this whole time with few exceptions in the building when educators were instructed to return back to the building in February 3, 2021. I refused to give myself a few days since my ADA paperwork signed by my doctor did not get a response except that it was received. I arrived on Monday, February 8th with a vaccine shot in which I claimed caretaker of my mom. Since then, I received the second shot on February 27th and the family is vaccinated except the youngest which will refuse the vaccine.
Being alone during the pandemic with only my cat was an experience. I would see my parents but wouldn’t hug them and stayed my distance so that I wouldn’t pass anything onto them. Now, I can hug them again.
I’m unsure of the long term effects of the pandemic. I am receiving therapy which was a gift from a patron. It’s helpful. I had a lot to say about public education and the pandemic. Half a million people died including a cousin from COVID-19. So many people died. It was a fight to keep my parents healthy and myself even though they mostly did what I shared. I was adamant: Keep your mask on (I don’t care what the CDC says that you don’t have to wear a mask); stay 6 feet away; don’t hug people; keep your hands away from your face; wash hands for 20 seconds; wear your masks (that I paid for the family).
I’m different now than I was a year ago; however, I’m thankful.
I’m pausing to reflect on 2020..hmmm. I’m looking back at this year with some tough love, reflection, self preservation and returned love.
Some cool things that occurred were securing two business grants for GVOS totaling $3500, paying off debt, and restoring my finances.
GVOS the company will have a new perspective. It’s been difficult teaching full-time, auditioning for film, and auditioning for VO. More information will come forth throughout the year. I technically retire from teaching in four years.
I’m breathing thank God and want to take one step at a time about the future. COVID-19 was the great leveling in the world. I’m thankful to still be on planet Earth.
Remain well and safe. Stay healthy. Breathe.
Joe Biden, President, and Kamala Harris, Vice President.
I’m glad. I’m working hard to assist my family during the pandemic. I’m thankful for good news at last. However, I’ve never worked harder to stay healthy while assisting my family. It’s the toughest time I’ve seen in my lifetime. I was born in 1970 so for the past 50 years (birthday is November 25th), I’ve never seen anything like it. Dad said that the 60s were worse. I believe that as well. However, I hope that this new administration can bring people together without inflammatory critique.
I did get some tax benefits owning GVOS under #45. His whole goal was to protect business (and provide tax breaks for the wealthy). I would want Biden to help business as well. It was helpful. However, Biden will hopefully use less inflammatory language during his term.
Geez. Please?! As a black woman, I was timid to go out in public, not just to stay healthy. I had fear as a person of color to leave my house. I saw George Floyd die on Facebook and people of color dying in the streets via video.
We’ll find out.
Since March 12, 2020, the school system shut down in person teaching and automatically switched to online teaching. It was sink or swim for many teachers. For me, I had started working from home online teaching ESL students in China with a company called VIPKID which I still do to this day. The company allows me to work online from home so I was ahead of the game. I already had an online classroom along with my voice-over room in my home. Two rooms were set up for online businesses. I was grateful.
Now that we are in July (four months along), the solitude has been tough. I come from a broken home with both parents still married but with many sibling issues. As an observer, I’ve watched my family go through high levels of stress with two brothers that are disabled. One brother has a family of six who is homeless and the stress of supporting my siblings’ family during COVID-19 has taken its toll.
Obviously, the financial strain has been difficult during COVID-19 with a brother who’s family is homeless and another disabled brother that is located back in Oklahoma with no family at all able to see him due to COVID-19.
I have more to share. However, I will leave with this comment. Acknowledge the difficulties. Seek assistance that is available. I have a group of people in a Bible Study class that prays for everyone which has been a solid group of people to also pray for. I have gone to therapy. Yes, my family has gone to counseling due to the high level of stress that we’ve endured. I also have sought individual counseling. I will go back again. I have a blog so that I don’t put my family on blast. It would be a downer to have a YouTube channel and I don’t want to showcase my family or myself in that platform in that way.
COVID-19 has skyrocketed that anxiety levels of people around the world. It looks like I will be working from home for the rest of 2020. The numbers of infected people keep rising which means that educational institutions will more likely continue virtual learning until the numbers drop. I don’t see that happening in the near future in the so-called United States of America.
I support my family in different ways: financially, day care for my nieces, assist with doctor visits for my parents, visit my sibling in Oklahoma or set up video conferencing concerning his welfare with the state agency, parents and myself.
If you see me and ask me how I’m doing, more likely I will say that I’m thankful. I am. I’ve seen too much and lived through much stress. However, I’m thankful to have what I have. I have more to share but I won’t continue. Hold your head up high. Work hard and smart. Live your dreams. Pray and meditate. Eat for health and strength. Be kind.
Today is June 5, 2020. The year is not over and we are in the middle of a global pandemic, the death of George Floyd that began a movement of protests around the globe about racial and economic disparity, and the highest unemployment rate since the Great Depression and WWII,
By now, some people will never understand what is going on around them. In the South, we say “Bless her heart.” I also have to say “Bless his heart” except for #45. By the way, if I give a person a number, by now, people should know that the writer doesn’t care for that person. It’s the nuances that people don’t understand in every aspect of culture, privilege, race, and writing. It’s the simple to the complex. If people want to understand, they will earn an education on their own which cannot be taught in public schools. To earn an education within itself is of high regard. It is permanent. However, a personal education may become more valuable to the learner than earning a piece of paper.
I’ve read many people who are nice, pleasant, even pastors, who don’t understand the issues that are going on around them. It seems to remain pleasant which is extremely helpful is not enough. If a person is not aware of the public situation around them, I cannot remain in their vicinity. Their ignorant privilege is showing and I have to dismiss myself from their presence. People are trying and I give them credit for trying. However, by now, if a person doesn’t understand the world around them, I disperse. People will educate themselves or a different person will take their hand and lead the way.
My time can be spent on growing economic wealth, studying my craft(s), and working on building a future. Since I don’t know my future due to not having my own family, at least I can build a positive future for myself until another person is interested in buying out my businesses.
I’ve seen a few people tear the world down or build it up. It only take about three people in the world. For instance, I’ve seen a few school board members put a whole district in a county with a one million plus revenue put on probation for academic accreditation. It took a year or two to remove the probation. I’ve also seen that a death, the latest by George Floyd, by a policeman can turn the world upside down. That was two souls plus three cops. I saw #45 and a few politicians allow the USA to dismantle itself globally in front of presidents and royalty without concern. My hope is that I will live to see how everything turns out. We are in an economic and social crisis globally in the USA. At the present, the end has not presented itself.
It takes a few people to turn the world upside down. Stay alert. Remain present. It’s a practice. Education remains fluid and constant. If you don’t understand something, figure it out. Self-educate yourself. People don’t like their time wasted. It’s not the job for others to teach you unless they’re paid. Educate self and if you’re ignorant, maybe keep that to yourself in private. In turn, people are wasting their breath and time due to educating people that don’t want to at least listen and learn. Disperse. There isn’t an excuse anymore not to be aware of social disparity and where you currently fit in the spectrum.
Are you woke yet?
Listen, we are in the middle of a pandemic. However, this has nothing to do with the COVID-19.
I’ve been an educator for 25 $%*& years. I’m thankful for that. However, have I lost my blackness? I’m correct in my speech so I go “in” and “out” of the ‘tude in my attitude in reading copy.
I have grown to love my coach. She tells and teaches it what “it” is.
For instance, I turned in a VO audition that needed a spoken poetry feel by an African American so I submitted.
After listening to it, my coach was able to pinpoint (God, what an ear) the little things that make the talent not sound authentic.
She can tell me what is wrong; however, it’s not something that a person should think about when doing copy. Either you sound authentic or you don’t.
I’m learning that maybe I have unlearned my natural blackness in speech to the point that I can’t retrieve it naturally in copy.
BTW, I’m unable to post anything about the ad. However, I just wanted to get on this platform right after my voice-over coaching session to pinpoint my frustration.
I’m glad to know this. Learn from the best. Thank God that I can switch myself to what it’s supposed to be. In other words, I can make adjustments extremely fast now. It takes practice and training. Hmmm. I’m unsure about a lot of things though at this point. I will just have to work on it and see what happens.
I can make the copy sound natural; however, my natural sassy reads are challenging. That bites my ass big time.
Dang, did I lose my blackness as an educator?!?